NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

As a food artist specialising in the 'organic', I have made more edible body parts than you can shake a barb-wired covered baseball bat at.

Here is a quick edit of some of the best:

At number 1: The Eviscerated Treasure Goblin

Commissioned by Blizzard for the launch for Diablo IV computer game)

The goblin, with his guts hanging out, was just one of many chocolate pieces made for an AMAZING launch event (I mean industry awards type thing) with live wolves, actors chanting in the walls and base so loud that people got sick.

The evil Lilith had opened a demonic chocolate shop and for just two days you could rock up and find: a half man / half goat, skulls, hearts, bones, crows, weapons and this guy, all made of chocolate.

 I was given clear references for the game characters but had the utter joy of figuring out what they’d look like when dead and gutted. Thanks go to my son who stepped in and worked through the night so his mum could get some kip. 

 

At No 2. The Dead Sailor Zombie Torso.

Commissioned by Fanta to launch... (I am guessing it was a special can of fizzy something - my record keeping is shocking)

This guy was a very tasty mash up of marzipan covered cake with a chocolate ribcage. He had some pretty tasty organs. Individual liver, stomach and intestine cakes which nestled into the cavity of his chocolate ribcage. 

Caught in a fishing net with him were chocolate mussels and oysters, barnacled and slightly rotten...

 

No 3. is Mick Jagger’s commission for his daughter’s Halloween birthday party.

A party on the scale of this one takes a team of designers and doers.

I was just the humble cake and bone maker who, with 48 hour notice, made a torso, spine and pelvis. But on arriving I found I was also the demonic cake surgeon and had to fit the cake to the neck of the live performer.

The actress stayed corpse-still until the knife was plunged into the cake. Then she started to scream and flail like… well, like someone who had a 10” cake knife thrust into their torso.

If I had been making my chocolate hearts back then it would have been the perfect addition, nestled into her ribcage. On this occasion, however, it was a delicious cake with white chocolate bones along with a generous drizzle of forest fruits coulis.

PHOTOGRAPHY vickicouchman.com

No 4. A fun mother-daughter bonding and makeover session

We remade a version of the Jagger cake for the TV short DWEuromaxx. 

My daughter gets a good behaviour award for this one.

It is deeply uncomfortable laying in a magician's table for hours while your mother throws raspberry coulis at you. Although, I must say, it brings you closer.

 

 

At No 5. Severed Head Cake

Shamefully, I have lost the best images of this carefully engineered cake.

It came with a pump and a canister of fresh fruit blood which oozed from the neck holes on demand... ahh such fun. 

She visited the Johnathan Ross TV show, and was devoured at the launch of a horror movie.

Things got sticky though - We had to get a lawyer involved.

A viewer in Australia became convinced the cake would incite cannibalism. At first it was funny, just an amusing not-fan. But they became increasingly nasty.  A Cease & Desist put an end to the harassment.

By which time the cake had incited people to eat vanilla sponge and say 'eeeww' a lot.

 

 

 

Want to make your own edible halloween centre piece? 

The table-scape for those with a day to spare:

Buy one of my chocolate skulls as a base for the head and add cake and sugar paste ‘fleshy bits’ for a half-eaten torso. Use the the pictures above as inspiration and don't forget to make plenty of fruit 'blood' to dress in at the last moment.

 

The no-work centre piece

Gorgeously gross and effortless - get the Anatomy Bundle (it includes a skull, brain, heart, fingers) and pile it high with gorgeous gothic tableware and dark dark linen cloth. Light with candles for a show-stopping centre piece.

 

If you really want to make a memorable moment then don’t tell anyone it is edible until you are ready to bring your axe or sledgehammer in for the feast…

 

The half day gory cupcake project:

For those who like oozing wounds here is a tutorial for maggot wound cleaning cupcakes...

 

Have fun and remember - I do not, under any circumstances, advocate for eating actual human beings.